| | well, it's been a while.
but then, I haven't been around. busyiest (and, I think, the best, which is quite possibly true because this is the first time I've enjoyed a summer enough to think it was the best) summer of my life.
so...i've gone counseling at camp (hope I don't freak them out when they find out I'm gay), on a mission trip (that should be safer), to kentucky with my relatives (who will FREAK), counseling again, on a cruise (def. hot guys, but no conversation--literally, except for two boys who a. were too young and b. needed fashion and hair-cut advice. other than that, literally the only conversation I had was with my family. oh wait, I talked to like three way-the-hell-old guys who were downright unsexy), and just got back from registration/orientation at college. hey kids, i'm taking an 'individual excersize' class and hoping that means an individualized workout! like, i might be getting in shape, and accordly become sexy! that would be fun. and i'm taking russian. wanted to take spanish, too, but no room in my schedule. oh yeah, my earliest clas is 9 am. which is too bad, actually, because i wanted them to all be finished by lunch, but that didn't happen. the only russian I class doesn't start until 12 anyhow.
some cute guys, and some openly gay guys, and the groups don't seem to correlate. there's a whopping one hot guy who's gay, and he's kinda two years my senior--in school years. since i'm kinda young for my grade, he could easily be three or four years up, and already interested in his current peer group/friends group. to judge by facebook, we're not taking ANY of the same classes, dunno what residence hall he's in, etc. so that about covers the dating scene. fun stuff, which always seems to come my way.
looking forward to coming out, kinda. have been for a while. no, i'm not excited, never really have been. excitement isn't really a part of the palette of emotions i do a lot. admittedly, i was excited for a few minutes today, an extremely rare occurrance. it was during my schedule formation. kinda cool to feel that emotion every once in a while, but definitely best not to overdo it. back to the coming out part: i'm not really at all uneasy about going to college, not worried, but i am a little about coming out. not a whole lot, not as much as like really freaking out worried is, but i'm a little unsure. a little nervous. don't even know why, i'm sure i'll make friends and stuff, although admittedly i sure didn't make a whole lot at the orientation session (new friend count: 0). and i definitely don't want to go loner again, that's never fun.
oh and i hope there's a church in that area i could go to that's half-way decent. i love my current church, and i'm seriously going to be unhappy if there's nothing like that.
who knows. what the future holds. other than God, i mean. |
